


Six twits walk into a hold fast

by CapriCornetto



Category: Funhaus RPF, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Decker Rootkit, Dirik Benslorde, Dungeons & Dragons, Grimo Rudefellow, Myriadus O'Probbels, Racsan Bartooth, ShatterCock, Twits and Crits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 05:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7964824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapriCornetto/pseuds/CapriCornetto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So six twits walk into a hold fast<br/>The rest of the story is the punch line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> [Where I look too deep into the T&C universe]

As the first signs of the sun cracked along the horizon of Giyel- Racsan took note that it looked like it was going to rain. He couldn't tell how bad it would be though. He rubbed a hand awkwardly along his tattoo as he stared out in to the wilderness as he walked, with nothing but the clothes on his back and a small bag of resources to aid his way.

"It looks like this is my stop." The brunette stopped in his tracks as he turned to his partner- his brother. "I better get myself an alibi before dad finds out you've gone, right? Don't want him to gut another maid." Racsan nodded slowly as he stared at the man before him- he had slightly taller build, scars littered across his skin. Some Racsan witnessed him acquire himself. The man's eyes always looked the same though- dead. Just like the rest of his family. Not even the glint of the sun reflected in them, he just looked blind to the world.

"Are you sure you'll be-" Racsan paused slightly as swallowed the lump in his throat. "Are you sure you'll be okay without me?" It must have been three or four years since his brother first started hearing the voices- Racsan remembered it too well, just one night the castle erupted with his screams and no body knew how to stop it- no body tried to. They just said that that was his families' curse had that it would happen to him too eventually. Just like it had happened to his mother and his father.

"I'll be fine Racsan." The beat of silence that followed was cut but a bitter breeze that tussled the younger's cape and finally brought everything into perspective for him. He was leaving home- he was changing his name- disowning his legacy to the throne of the country. The second he left the family grounds he'd become a no body.

"I-I don't thin-" Racsan was cut off as the other man placed a firm hand on his shoulder- it was too firm- it hurt.

"No. You wanted to leave, right? To be 'normal'? This is your chance to do something good for the country- to help our people." The grip eased up a little as his brother looked past him into the surroundings. "I don't want you to end up like me, like dad or mum. Okay?" Racsan nodded, but then that pain was back again- in the back of his mind and his gut sunk.

"Racsan?"

"Yeah."

"Promise me you won't end up like us."

"I promise."

There was that pain again.

"You better get going to the hold fast, Captain Stiller's probably waiting for you."

\---------------------------------------------------

Racsan had been walking for god knows how long now. Every once and a while he'd come across a sign that would tell him he was still heading in the right direction but even then- no one passed him, no animals could be heard in the distance, it was just him and the overwhelming noise of his thoughts. He tried not to think about the fact he was leaving home- leaving his brother, his family- no matter how fucked up they were. He just had to forget about it an get on with his life now, right?

"Stupid- garbage, shit GPS!" The fighter jumped, startled at the sudden voice that yelled out behind him- on high alert that it might be bandits or even the king's guard, Racsan was quick to turn around, grip his axe, close his eyes and throw it towards the source of the noise.

"Dude! What the actual fuck?!" As the young prince slowly opened his eyes he was met with the glare of a man around his height- bushy black hair and glasses. The axe had only missed him by millimeters as it wedged into the tree beside his head- also taking a small sparking box with it.

"I'm- I'm sorry?" The apology came out more like a question as the other man huffed and reached into his jacket- nothing like Racsan had seen before, must be from over seas dressed like that. As the stranger pulled out another strange box from his pocket, which came to life under his touch- definitely not from around here- Decker snapped at Rascan, his voice deadpan as he spoke.

"The holdfast. Where is it?" The fighter stood up a little straighter as he walked up to the tree by the man and pulled out the axe, the sparking object hitting the floor as Racsan watched its light dim with mild curiosity- had he killed it? "Are you listening?" Racsan jumped a little as he stared at the man next to him.

"Y-yeah. The hold fast. It's just a few more miles along this road- on the outskirts of the village." The unknown man merely nodded and headed off down the dirt path at a brisk pace, once more with his eyes on the lit up box in his hand. Racsan quickly put his axe back into the loop in his belt and tried to keep up the other man. "Wait!" However he didn't, he merely grunted as the prince caught up to him- the two walked side by side for a few minutes in dead beat silence until to bushy haired man stopped sharply in his tracks. 

"What do you want? I don't have time for a stupid quest." Racsan was put slightly off guard by the man's tone as he spoke quietly.

"I'm heading to the hold fast too." The man nodded slightly before huffing loudly and holding out one of his hands towards Racsan. "Decker Rootkit, Wizard." Racsan hesitated a little as he shook Decker's hand.

"Racsan Bartooth." That was the fake last name he'd come up with for himself as he walked- it was silly but all he could think of as he stared at the other man.

"What are you- some kind of royalty? Sick of his family and striking out on his own for 'adventure'?" Decker's tone was completely sarcastic but Racsan still stammered as his eyes widened in fear slightly. 

"W-what makes you say that, wizard?" He mumbled as Decker looked back down to the device in his hands.

"No reason." More silence followed until Decker spoke again. "Also, never call me that again. Either my name or not at all, okay?"

"Okay."


	2. Two

"Here's your winnings, again." Dirik chuckled slightly as he grabbed the bag of coins out of the bookie's hands, shaking it a little before shrugging. As he left he swiped his hand up to catch the blood that had slowly started to form from his nose- welp, that was broken. He stepped out of the fight club and into the early morning chill he saw someone waiting on a low wall- staring at him.

"Roth." The wolf man nodded as the other smiled towards him slightly, putting out his smoke and standing up with a yawn. "How long've you been waiting for me?" Roth let out a bark of laughter as he tossed a scrunched up flyer towards him, which Dirik was quick to catch between fumbling with his fight winnings. "What is this?" The taller man asked as he read to words on the paper. "Moon Dog brothers? Ughh-"

"You wanted to make a name for yourself, right?" The barbarian nodded- eyebrows furrowed in uncertainty. Unsure what the man was actually getting at. "You've never set a foot outside this village, Dirik." The man snapped his gaze up from the paper- ears up high, tail bristled and a low growl in the back of his throat. "Well, not since 'then'."

"What do you want?" Dirik snarled as something in Roth's eyes changed- once light and jokey to steeled and serious.

"I owe a guy the next city over- head of the knights' watch." Roth paused slightly as if to judge his next words wisely. "There's been a break out at Krasnear." Dirik's eyes widened as he stepped closer to the other man.

"Oh. Shit." Roth nodded solemnly as he sighed and stared up at the slowly lighter sky, the sun just rising over the horizon.

"Yeah. Well the king's decided to keep it under wraps- don't want public panic and all that." Dirik frowned again as he stared more closely at the flyer Roth had given him. "Stiller wants me to find someone who can help- if you get my drift." Dirik nodded again. "He's getting a group together at the hold fast, the knights are dealing with a good deal of the inmates but- but the Moon dogs? That's a hole other kettle of fish."

"Why me?" Roth stood up with a grin and patted Dirik on the shoulder- wincing slightly at the blood that smeared on his hands.

"You're the only- the best fighter I know. Best in the village in fact. Also," The man started to laugh a little as he spoke his next words. "You constantly bitch about wanting to be recognized. Don't bitch to me over beers and rough injuries- or fight in the same ring for two years. Get out there, get that million reward from the king. The king!" The wolf man took the words in as he huffed slightly, clearly trying to look bothered- but the way his tail swayed slightly gave him away.

"You said the old hold fast, right?"

+

The journey was about a days travel to the hold fast- and as Dirk pushed the door to the tavern open he was met with a virtually empty room, some guards chatted quietly among themselves over ale, one or two normal civilians played a game of darts in the corner of the room and the balcony of the second floor housed a large benched table. Three people already sat next to each other, but not quite talking. One woman- looked like a Tiefling played idly with the hem of her high cut shorts, a younger- almost teenager smoked a cigarette as he leaned back in his chair with his feet kicked up into the table. The third was a swords man who was hunched over a map away from the other two- didn't look like Stiller though. 

"Barbarian?" Dirik looked towards the bar keep as he cleaned out a pitcher with bored eyes. "You here to meet with the captain?" He nodded firmly as he handed the flyer in his hands over the counter. The man nodded once before pointing to a set of rickety stairs that lead to the second floor. "Upstairs. Where the Dwarf, Tiefling and Halfling are." The wolf man stared at the three for a few short seconds before sighing and turning to the bar keep.

"I'll take a pint of your cheapest ale."

+

Grimo watched as a practically 'wall' of a man- dog, whatever the hell he was lumbered up the stairs to the small group at the table. However he didn't meet them- merely nodded toward the halfling and lent up against a beer barrel by the wall with a flagon of ale.

"Is that-" Grimo plucked the cigarette out of his mouth to speak to the horned woman beside him in a hushed whisper. "Is that a were wolf?" The woman followed his gaze and as the man's wolf ear twitched slightly.

"They've been exiled for years, if he was one- he'd be dead." Was all she muttered before returning to whatever she had been doing before. Grimo hummed slightly as the group- one person bigger, fell into the same drop beat silence that they had been in since he'd arrived.


End file.
